tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31942236.post6156231272594454545..comments2023-06-27T01:01:07.692-07:00Comments on TABBA: Gravel In Ya Guts and That Spit In Ya EyeTabbahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07571583646468537273noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31942236.post-31022655019078233772006-11-16T20:08:00.000-08:002006-11-16T20:08:00.000-08:00Thanks, girls. For all of your kind words.
That...Thanks, girls. For all of your kind words. <br />That is one of my biggest fears - that, one day, I am going to be on the other end.<br />I'm trying really hard to lay the groundwork now, so that doesn't happen.<br />It's daunting. But I'm tryingTabbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07571583646468537273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31942236.post-53488556084347581072006-11-16T20:04:00.000-08:002006-11-16T20:04:00.000-08:00Crikey, I'm almost speechless.
I, too, am on a lo...Crikey, I'm almost speechless.<br /><br />I, too, am on a long journey concerning my mother. My relationship with her is very complicated, with issues that run very deep. It has not been easy, but it's been very necessary and, at it's core, very good.<br /><br />Where you seem to go into "fight" mode, I go into "flight." Whenever I feel the need to defend my actions, my choices, my opinions (which is almost constantly) I shut down. I used to just change my opinion or my mind to match up with hers, but I've made significant progress in that area and now I stick to my guns. But I still feel the guilt for days and days afterward.<br /><br />I don't really have any words of encouragement for you. I'm not sure where this is going either. But I do lie awake at night and pray that I won't cause such anxiety for My Girl. Is it possible to NOT drive our daughters crazy for the rest of their lives? Is there any way to avoid becoming such a source of irritation to someone I love so desperately? I really don't know.<br /><br />But I think there HAS to be some merit in being so aware of it all. As The Viking says, sure we're going to make the mistakes, but I'll be damned if they're the same ones my parents made.<br /><br />Hugs to you, and just keep on keeping on.Pippajohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07651166001450622296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31942236.post-69996530982396641172006-11-14T15:44:00.000-08:002006-11-14T15:44:00.000-08:00Wonderfully well written, again as always. Enjoya...Wonderfully well written, again as always. Enjoyable. Although I feel awkward enjoying so your dismay.<br /><br />Your mom was failing to self-monitor. Mine does that, too. She's adorably sweet, but unless she has a running tally of what I've done and eaten, she's half-panicked. I've started answering the phone will, "Hi, Mom! I'm just studying and about to pick up Oee and then we are having pork-chops for dinner, before (sig other) goes to watch hockey and Oee and I make a craft and then I'm going to put her to bed after I read her some stories, I think she'll sleep well, because she was up early and I sent her to school with a good lunch, so I'll call you when she's fallen asleep, after my shower and tell you how my day went, if you like."<br /><br />And...<br />From the archives of the Life-ala-Mom stories that my friends and I have shared over the years and beers, here are a couple of comebacks.<br /><br /><br /><b>The Gentle reminder:</b><br /><br />"Those are the thoughts that are supposed to stay inside (insert borderline-patronizing laugh),so that I don't feel like an eight year old, Mom. "<br /><br /><br /><b>The Direct Shock Punisher:</b><br /><br />"Mom.. sometimes I just can't get to the phone. I mean.. there is no cause for alarm. It's not like I was driving to the local co-ed dormitory to experiment with some latent-bi-curiosity, I was just (hushed confidential tone) masterbating for heaven-sakes, I can't very well answer the phone in the middle of that, now can I."<br /><br /><br /><b>Backhanded Honesty:</b><br /><br />"Just because the phone rings, doesn't mean I am going to answer it. Because I might have other things on my mind and just because you are talking, doesn't mean I am listening. And, I want to be able to give you my full attention. <br /><br /><br /><b>The Brutal Psychobabble Baffle:</b><br /><br />"Mom, I grew up and moved out so that I wouldn't have to answer to you. You said that I had to do as you said under your roof and that when I moved out, I could do as I wished. Here I am, doing it. So, limit your calls and your narration of frustration, please, because it becomes kind of redundant for me to call you back or come and visit when you are constantly imposing your roof over my house, during most of the times we communicate."<br /><br /><br /><b>The Retro-Generational Threat:</b><br /><br />"If you keep calling me, I'm gonna get Grandma to call you six times a day and when you stop answering, I'll get her to fill up your voice mail with questions such as: what did you eat today, where did you go this morning and where are you now."<br /><br /><br /><b>Deciet for the Technologically-Deficient:</b><br /><br />"You know fibre optics nowadays - there're glitches here and there all over the place - I didn't get your call and your message is probably floating around in fibre-optic space."<br /><br /><br />Or, call-forward your phone to your sister or the local pizza hut.<br /><br />Good luck with your Mom. I think when it comes to this, Moms are all the same.. God love 'em. ;)SuperP.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06830641369098524799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31942236.post-39298896582994696202006-11-14T14:54:00.000-08:002006-11-14T14:54:00.000-08:00Tabba, what a post! Good heavens, what a post! Som...Tabba, what a post! Good heavens, what a post! Somehow, I think we can all relate. It's a defensive world. It seems we're always defending something. Compassion is the only answer. I honestly believe that ~ and, yes, it's freaking hard with certain people. If she wasn't hurting somehow, she wouldn't behave that way. In the end, we all come from our woundedness somehow ~ even your mother. <br /><br />Best to you, <br /><br /><br />Thailand Gal<br />~*~*~thailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31942236.post-61683390554981905802006-11-14T12:19:00.000-08:002006-11-14T12:19:00.000-08:00ahh, tab. you are doing it..you are slowly unveili...ahh, tab. you are doing it..you are slowly unveiling as you need to...and you have damn good reason to feel self-protective..the little girl you didn't have anyone in her corner, did she? <br /><br />well, sister, you've got people in yours now, and we are sticking put and ready to listen.Girlplustwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056576921114387218noreply@blogger.com