Out Of The Ashes

I like to play coy and say that in the past few months of my absence nothing has happened.
Well, nothing that merits you taking a few minutes out of your busy day to read, anyway.

I got to the point where I would sit in front of the screen and think to myself, "What is the point? Hasn't it all been said and done before? What could I possibly say that is so unique? I've told all of the stories that there are to tell."
That hit me really hard.
The possibility of an actual depth to my soul that I thought I possessed was nothing than barely a shallow pool of a personality and life experience.

Life ran away with me on its back and all I could do was hang on. Let the school work take its toll, daily survival played its mundane tune, and I went to bed with the weight of good intentions laying in my chest.

So many times during the days and weeks my mind would drift to you.
Thinking, wondering, missing.
And hoping.
Certain lines that you have written or comments would pop into my head and I would smile.

Blogging, writing, commenting left a big void.

But while nothing much was going on - domestically speaking - I have been transforming.
I needed to unplug.
I am still morphing, I'm sure that the journey is not complete.
And one day, may I will be able to tell you of white light, and sweat lodges, incense, stones, cats, meditations, and visions.
Some of it will sound crazy, I'm sure.
And that is OK.
I am certainly not hear to convince anyone of anything.
I will share them as an attempt to sort out this spiritual awakening I have had, to look back on it and watch the pieces fall into place.