Sunday Morning Song of the Moment

Last night, Rav & I joined his parents, his three older brothers and their wives at a wedding for a childhood friend of all of the Ravioli brothers. (if you'd like to check out my brother-in-laws post on the wedding and some pictures of the famiglia de Ravioli, check out fatmarc)

It is very rare that all 8 of us (the brothers and the wives) are together in one room anymore because of busy lives, geography, kids, etc.
So when we all get together it really is a treat.
And we are often looked upon as that table or oh, those people.
It's not a bad thing. In fact it's quite funny.

The wedding took place in a beautiful church in center city Philadelphia.
The bride and groom were stunning.
Both families looked wonderful, proud, and happy.
The bride is of Philippine descent and it was lovely to see some of her culture blended into the ceremony.
All of the guests made the walk to the venue which was just a few blocks away.
And the reception venue was absolutely gorgeous.

Rav & I have become quite the wedding connoisseurs lately, as we have been to approximately 11 weddings in 4 years.
And this wedding was pretty tops for many reasons.

The friendship, love, and harmonious blending of different cultures, backgrounds, orientations was so elegantly pulled off.
And there are many details I could delve into.
But the bottomline is that all of the exterior things, the things that categorize people really shouldn't matter.
And this couple got that - gets that.
At the end of the day, love is love. It has no bounds and it doesn't exclude.
It is there in the beginnings and endings of the days despite the petty trappings we try to confine love to.
Love doesn't always conform and love doesn't look for norms.
Love just is.

When we were seated at our tables we were given a card that thanked the guests for celebrating, it offered an email address where you could send any pictures you have taken of the day to share with the bride and groom. And on the back of the card was this wedding favor:

In lieu of favors we have made a donation to "Freedom to Marry" to support those who are denied the right to enter the institution of marriage. Today we celebrate the finest and most noble expressions of marriage - love, commitment, and responsibility - while rejecting discrimination and prejudice.
http://www.freedomtomarry.org/

I thought this to be the most noble gesture two people could make on a day to beat all noble gestures.

My heart forever melts for this couple who so rightly love each other and love others so eloquently. I raise my glass to J & K. A couple so deserving of a love and life full of endless possibilities.

This song is for them (it is the song they danced to) and for all of those who have someone but by some ridiculous right-wing agenda cannot enter into the institution of marriage.

I hope you enjoy Forever by Ben Harper

Gurgle....Gurgle....Gasp

That's me.
Gasping for air.

My nerves are shot.
I feel shaky.
I'm not eating.

And the part where I lay down at night and close my eyes can hardly be called sleep.

I'm trudging through the day-to-day.

Instead of playing Hide-and-seek, Ring-Around-The-Rosie, and Tag, we are
Playing games like how to rob Peter to pay Paul.
And games like, it's only two days past the expiration date......this is still good isn't it?.....What's for dinner? Well, how do you feel about pasta, pasta, or pasta?

When The Man knocks on my door, demanding payments, trying desperately to squeeze blood from a stone and my hands shake as I write the check and I ask The Man, desperately, not to cash the check until Friday. Money spent before it's even had, I think to myself: How much longer can we live like this? Life shouldn't be this way. It's not what life is about. Is this my idea of the "American Dream"?

I've noticed how much I've been saying to Connor lately
"We don't have money for that."
"It's too much money."
"We can do that another time when we have more money."
I need to find a new way to say no.
Because while it's the truth, I don't want everything to be about money.
And yet, it is.

I've become cynical.
American Dream my ass. All it is is a puff of smoke. The carrot on the end of the stick for the pack mule. The thing we desperately hold on to. Visions of something better. Until we are six feet under.

I get pissed off at the governor of our state when I think about the whopping $750 dollar a year raise for all state employees.
And how the fact that the same month that we get that BIG raise, we have to pay a considerable increase in our health benefits.
Doesn't she think anyone will be smart enough to notice how much of a slap in the face that is?

I don't want to be filthy rich.
I don't want a house that costs a sinful amount of money to heat.
Our cars are ten years old each. And that's fine with me.
All I want is not to have to look over my shoulder anymore.

I just want to breathe again.