That's right, it's my man Stanley! That rat bastard. The dirty Cad. And then I looked closer...
Are you smirking at me? You son of a bitch. But where is Connor? He was supposed to be helping me out........
Sleeping on the job!
Showing posts with label guest spot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guest spot. Show all posts
6/29/07
Welcome to Stanley's World - a Guest Post by Rav
I knew when Grace was born, that someday, I would have to worry about boys coming around. I knew that there are boys out there, that I would rather she not meet. I knew that I would have my hands full in keeping these boys away from her. I also knew that Connor, being so close in age to her, would certainly help me. Finally, I knew that since she was so young, I had many years until I had to worry about it. But last night, I received the shock of a lifetime. As I walked up the stairs, and passed my children's room, I saw something out of the corner of my eye....
Sleeping on the job!
Sleeping on the job!
5/12/07
They Didn't Have You Where I Come From
Today is a special day. Today, I, Rav, will choose the Sunday Morning Song of the Moment. But first, I have a few words to say (and if you know anything about me, then you know that I can never say just a few words). I try to show my appreciation for my lovely wife, the mother of my children, everyday. But I know that I often take her for granted. I don't always "get" what it takes for her to do what she does everyday, and still greet me with a smile when I walk in the door. We made the decision that it would be best for Tab to stay home with the kids, and not work. This was the best decision for our children. They get from her, what they would fail to get in a daycare. I am not knocking daycare, but nothing beats some good 'ole home grown mommy lovin'.
Prior to meeting Tab, I had a vague idea that I would like to get married some day and have children. Tab has discussed that we met at summer camp, so I won't go into that. But I recall that the first time I met her, what I wanted became crystal clear. I knew that I wanted to be with Tabitha. The first time we kissed, I had a clear picture in my head of us getting married. I knew, without a doubt that she was the one.
Once you get to know Tabitha, she is a lot of things, more than she may seem at first glance. Tab is sensitive and empathetic. She is kind and caring. She has a heart that is just so great. She sees things in a way that I wish I could. Everyday, I am thankful that we met and that I was able to convince her to date and then marry me. Not that she had much choice, after all, I did hit her over the head with a club and drag her to my cave.
Tab, I can never show you how thankful I am that you are here. I can never show you how much I love you. But I will spend the rest of my life trying.
To all of you mothers reading this I also have a few words to say on behalf of men. We will forget important dates. You will open that present and look into the box, and oh yes, it will be an iron. A nice iron, high tech and all that, but an iron none the less. We will smile, as you open that box, in anticipation. knowing that you really needed a new iron and quite pleased with ourselves that we found this totally awesome iron. Despite what may be in that box, an iron in my case, it was put there with love in our hearts and you in our minds. We do appreciate you for what you do and thank god that we decided you wanted to stay home instead of us, because we would have gone crazy long before now. We love you all.
Without (much) further ado, the Sunday Morning Song of the Moment today is a song by the Dixie Chicks called "Lullaby". This is a sweet song which is beautiful and has touching lyrics.
The video was made by someone and posted to youtube. It uses a lot of the same images over and over, so just sit back and listen, and watch if you want to.
Prior to meeting Tab, I had a vague idea that I would like to get married some day and have children. Tab has discussed that we met at summer camp, so I won't go into that. But I recall that the first time I met her, what I wanted became crystal clear. I knew that I wanted to be with Tabitha. The first time we kissed, I had a clear picture in my head of us getting married. I knew, without a doubt that she was the one.
Once you get to know Tabitha, she is a lot of things, more than she may seem at first glance. Tab is sensitive and empathetic. She is kind and caring. She has a heart that is just so great. She sees things in a way that I wish I could. Everyday, I am thankful that we met and that I was able to convince her to date and then marry me. Not that she had much choice, after all, I did hit her over the head with a club and drag her to my cave.
Tab, I can never show you how thankful I am that you are here. I can never show you how much I love you. But I will spend the rest of my life trying.
To all of you mothers reading this I also have a few words to say on behalf of men. We will forget important dates. You will open that present and look into the box, and oh yes, it will be an iron. A nice iron, high tech and all that, but an iron none the less. We will smile, as you open that box, in anticipation. knowing that you really needed a new iron and quite pleased with ourselves that we found this totally awesome iron. Despite what may be in that box, an iron in my case, it was put there with love in our hearts and you in our minds. We do appreciate you for what you do and thank god that we decided you wanted to stay home instead of us, because we would have gone crazy long before now. We love you all.
Without (much) further ado, the Sunday Morning Song of the Moment today is a song by the Dixie Chicks called "Lullaby". This is a sweet song which is beautiful and has touching lyrics.
The video was made by someone and posted to youtube. It uses a lot of the same images over and over, so just sit back and listen, and watch if you want to.
2/22/07
The Gut Shot- a guest spot by Rav
Tabba asked me to do a guest spot, and I could only think of one thing to post about. My every thought for the past 24 hours has returned to this thing and I just can't get past it, it's a long one, but here goes:
I was sitting at my desk yesterday morning, doing nothing, as usual. My phone rings, which is certainly a normal occurrence, and I am just thinking about which jackass is calling me and what stupid question they have for me. To my surprise, it was my old boss on the other end. Before I began my illustrious career as a probation and parole officer, I was a security supervisor at the local mall. My boss, the security director, and I had a fairly good relationship, at times very good. I don't speak to him, or any of the good friends I made there as often as I should, but as we have mostly all moved on to become law enforcement officers, we are a busy lot. Anyway, I was quite pleased to hear his voice on the phone. He sounds funny though and says that he needs a big favor. He asks me a question, which would put me in the terrible situation I am currently in. He asks me if I remember his biggest fear in regards to "E". "E" is a security guard who has worked at the mall for almost 20 years, and seemed as if he would be there forever. No one really liked him, as he was a little strange. As a matter of fact, we couldn't stand him, and any one who is human, could not stand to be around him. He was missing teeth, he smelled, and he had these crazy conspiracy theories. Worst of all, he was a dumpster diver!!! Sometimes he tried to hide it, and other times he proudly spoke of all the things he had "recovered". He used to talk about what a great guy he was and how his neighbor was a single mother, and she worked two jobs, and that he used to take care of her children and take them places. So when my boss asked me what his biggest fear was, I knew it right away.
We had all joked, for years, about how "E" had to be a sex offender. We used to laugh about how weird he was and how we would not be surprised if he was arrested for being a pervert. And, he didn't help his situation. Sometimes, he would make comments, that were so outrageous and inappropriate, that we just had to walk away. Personally, I attributed it to him being a crazy old man.
After I answered my old boss's question he informed me that "E" had a girlfriend, a surprising fact to me, and that she had called "E" out of work the night before saying that he was in some trouble. She called my old boss in the morning and said that a Detective had called and told "E" that he needed to turn himself in on a warrant. I looked "E" up in the computer and saw that he did in fact have a warrant. I looked at the warrant and saw what it was for. I could not speak. Oh shit, I said to my old boss. And then I confirmed his worst fear. "E" was wanted for Rape 1st, Continuous Unlawful Sexual Contact with a Minor (3 charges of this one), Sexual Exploitation of a Minor (2 charges of this one), and Possession of Child Pornography. Just at that moment, I was asked by a co-worker to help with something. I told my boss I would call him back and I hung up the phone. I sat there staring at my computer screen. I could not believe what I was reading. And then I made the biggest mistake of all. I read the actual warrants, the information presented to the judge requesting that "E" be charged with these heinous crimes. In summary, "E" had molested the daughter of his neighbor, the single mother. Apparently the girl has been in therapy for a while and she had just disclosed that "Uncle E", as she knew him, had molested her. The warrant was detailed and explained exactly what and when "E" had done to this 11 year old girl. It also stated that a search warrant had been executed on "E's" home and it listed all of the things found there. Pictures and videos (home made or otherwise), were just the beginning. And then I thought of this mother and the fact that I remember "E" saying that she had more than one child. I couldn't help but wonder if "E" had molested them too. And then, I was struck by the worst part of all, the dates of occurrence. We laughed and laughed about how weird "E" was, and how he had to be a sex offender. Chester the child molester we jokingly called him. And all the while, this poor poor girl was having her life ripped apart. This man whom she trusted, was in fact a disgusting despicable thief. He stole so much from her, but I can't help but feel like he stole something from me too. Of the group of guys who I worked with at the time, 2 have become state troopers, 4 have become city cops, 1 is a county cop, and me.
I have spoken with 2 of the guys, the troopers. Neither was surprised at what I told them. I don't know if either of them is as affected by it as me, but I do know one thing. Some part of me feels like there must have been something I could have done. Instead of laughing, maybe I could have prevented what happened to this little innocent girl. I know that she wasn't the first, and if it had not been her, it would have been someone else. But I don't know that I'll ever be able to get past this feeling.
"All that is necessary for evil to succeed, is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke
I was sitting at my desk yesterday morning, doing nothing, as usual. My phone rings, which is certainly a normal occurrence, and I am just thinking about which jackass is calling me and what stupid question they have for me. To my surprise, it was my old boss on the other end. Before I began my illustrious career as a probation and parole officer, I was a security supervisor at the local mall. My boss, the security director, and I had a fairly good relationship, at times very good. I don't speak to him, or any of the good friends I made there as often as I should, but as we have mostly all moved on to become law enforcement officers, we are a busy lot. Anyway, I was quite pleased to hear his voice on the phone. He sounds funny though and says that he needs a big favor. He asks me a question, which would put me in the terrible situation I am currently in. He asks me if I remember his biggest fear in regards to "E". "E" is a security guard who has worked at the mall for almost 20 years, and seemed as if he would be there forever. No one really liked him, as he was a little strange. As a matter of fact, we couldn't stand him, and any one who is human, could not stand to be around him. He was missing teeth, he smelled, and he had these crazy conspiracy theories. Worst of all, he was a dumpster diver!!! Sometimes he tried to hide it, and other times he proudly spoke of all the things he had "recovered". He used to talk about what a great guy he was and how his neighbor was a single mother, and she worked two jobs, and that he used to take care of her children and take them places. So when my boss asked me what his biggest fear was, I knew it right away.
We had all joked, for years, about how "E" had to be a sex offender. We used to laugh about how weird he was and how we would not be surprised if he was arrested for being a pervert. And, he didn't help his situation. Sometimes, he would make comments, that were so outrageous and inappropriate, that we just had to walk away. Personally, I attributed it to him being a crazy old man.
After I answered my old boss's question he informed me that "E" had a girlfriend, a surprising fact to me, and that she had called "E" out of work the night before saying that he was in some trouble. She called my old boss in the morning and said that a Detective had called and told "E" that he needed to turn himself in on a warrant. I looked "E" up in the computer and saw that he did in fact have a warrant. I looked at the warrant and saw what it was for. I could not speak. Oh shit, I said to my old boss. And then I confirmed his worst fear. "E" was wanted for Rape 1st, Continuous Unlawful Sexual Contact with a Minor (3 charges of this one), Sexual Exploitation of a Minor (2 charges of this one), and Possession of Child Pornography. Just at that moment, I was asked by a co-worker to help with something. I told my boss I would call him back and I hung up the phone. I sat there staring at my computer screen. I could not believe what I was reading. And then I made the biggest mistake of all. I read the actual warrants, the information presented to the judge requesting that "E" be charged with these heinous crimes. In summary, "E" had molested the daughter of his neighbor, the single mother. Apparently the girl has been in therapy for a while and she had just disclosed that "Uncle E", as she knew him, had molested her. The warrant was detailed and explained exactly what and when "E" had done to this 11 year old girl. It also stated that a search warrant had been executed on "E's" home and it listed all of the things found there. Pictures and videos (home made or otherwise), were just the beginning. And then I thought of this mother and the fact that I remember "E" saying that she had more than one child. I couldn't help but wonder if "E" had molested them too. And then, I was struck by the worst part of all, the dates of occurrence. We laughed and laughed about how weird "E" was, and how he had to be a sex offender. Chester the child molester we jokingly called him. And all the while, this poor poor girl was having her life ripped apart. This man whom she trusted, was in fact a disgusting despicable thief. He stole so much from her, but I can't help but feel like he stole something from me too. Of the group of guys who I worked with at the time, 2 have become state troopers, 4 have become city cops, 1 is a county cop, and me.
I have spoken with 2 of the guys, the troopers. Neither was surprised at what I told them. I don't know if either of them is as affected by it as me, but I do know one thing. Some part of me feels like there must have been something I could have done. Instead of laughing, maybe I could have prevented what happened to this little innocent girl. I know that she wasn't the first, and if it had not been her, it would have been someone else. But I don't know that I'll ever be able to get past this feeling.
"All that is necessary for evil to succeed, is for good men to do nothing."
-Edmund Burke
12/14/06
Guest Spot- Where Are We Going?
Tonight, Tabba and I were watching one of our new favorite TV shows, The First 48. It is on A&E, Thursdays at 9pm. Each episode focuses on 2 separate Homicide investigations. The camera follows the Detectives for the first 48 hours of the investigations. Statistically, after the first 48 hours, the odds that a Homicide will be solved decreases by 50%.
Anyway, each episode is pretty sad, and they usually catch the killer, but not always. Tonight, a mother and her two year old daughter were shot and killed by the mom's boyfriend. He shot the mother twice and shot the daughter once. The daughter was on the front porch of the house. The killer had a long history of violent crimes, and domestic violence.
I just don't get it. I am a probation and parole officer. I supervise some offenders who are on probation for domestic violence. We have a domestic violence unit, whose officers specialize in handling these cases, but not all cases "qualify". I guess beating your wife once, isn't enough. The other day, I was in court for a violation of probation hearing. My offender had violated a no contact order issued by the court. Unfortunately, the court misplaced the report I submitted and it was not in the Judge's file. So the violation was dismissed. This time, the offender did not beat, threaten or harass his wife. But what message does this send to him? He walked through a no contact order and there was no consequence. Now, he is going to be more inclined to do it again. And next time, maybe he won't be so nice. The way these cases are handled is ridiculous.
I see people who spend more time in jail for having a little pot, than people who beat their spouses or children. And these offender's generally already have superiority complexes. They feel that they did not do anything wrong. And we let them keep thinking that. I just don't know where we are going. Just the other day in downstate Delaware, a man killed his estranged wife in front of their 9 year old son. He stabbed her 20 times with a screw driver. She had a protection from abuse order in place against him.
What is going on here? Things are not looking good for us. But here we are, tuning in every week to see the murder and the mayhem up close and personal.
-Rav
Let me say here that yes, we're tuning in. But I know I don't 'enjoy' what is happening to innocent people. My heart aches & my body screams on the inside for all of these victims. Is tuning in horrible? Maybe. But I know this is happening. I feel that by seeing what is going on that it makes it real for me. I know that something needs to be done. I think what is horrible is that I know this is happening, but I am not part of a solution. The most that I can say I've done is that the kids & I have taken coats, shoes, hats, gloves & clothes to a women & children's shelter. Does that help someone leave their abuser behind? Does that change the mind-set of that poor battered woman who knows nothing else but abuse & pain & black eyes? Does that speak to a child who feels invisible? The child that wants to save their mommy. Do a pair of 2nd hand shoes make them feel bigger than they feel on the inside? Kids always seem to think that a new pair of shoes makes them run faster & jump higher. Do you think that the kids who put on shoes worn by our kids feel that way? I bet they're feet feel a thousand times heavier. They've walked a walk some of us only see on T.V.
Rav, you are in a position to try. Your efforts may not always bear fruit. But you are in a position to try to help, try to make a difference everyday. But it is easy to become jaded. Doing what you do. I don't think though, that the 'system' is successful in always helping or reforming. On paper, maybe it's supposed to. But it's not happening. Something is wrong here.
Anyway, each episode is pretty sad, and they usually catch the killer, but not always. Tonight, a mother and her two year old daughter were shot and killed by the mom's boyfriend. He shot the mother twice and shot the daughter once. The daughter was on the front porch of the house. The killer had a long history of violent crimes, and domestic violence.
I just don't get it. I am a probation and parole officer. I supervise some offenders who are on probation for domestic violence. We have a domestic violence unit, whose officers specialize in handling these cases, but not all cases "qualify". I guess beating your wife once, isn't enough. The other day, I was in court for a violation of probation hearing. My offender had violated a no contact order issued by the court. Unfortunately, the court misplaced the report I submitted and it was not in the Judge's file. So the violation was dismissed. This time, the offender did not beat, threaten or harass his wife. But what message does this send to him? He walked through a no contact order and there was no consequence. Now, he is going to be more inclined to do it again. And next time, maybe he won't be so nice. The way these cases are handled is ridiculous.
I see people who spend more time in jail for having a little pot, than people who beat their spouses or children. And these offender's generally already have superiority complexes. They feel that they did not do anything wrong. And we let them keep thinking that. I just don't know where we are going. Just the other day in downstate Delaware, a man killed his estranged wife in front of their 9 year old son. He stabbed her 20 times with a screw driver. She had a protection from abuse order in place against him.
What is going on here? Things are not looking good for us. But here we are, tuning in every week to see the murder and the mayhem up close and personal.
-Rav
Let me say here that yes, we're tuning in. But I know I don't 'enjoy' what is happening to innocent people. My heart aches & my body screams on the inside for all of these victims. Is tuning in horrible? Maybe. But I know this is happening. I feel that by seeing what is going on that it makes it real for me. I know that something needs to be done. I think what is horrible is that I know this is happening, but I am not part of a solution. The most that I can say I've done is that the kids & I have taken coats, shoes, hats, gloves & clothes to a women & children's shelter. Does that help someone leave their abuser behind? Does that change the mind-set of that poor battered woman who knows nothing else but abuse & pain & black eyes? Does that speak to a child who feels invisible? The child that wants to save their mommy. Do a pair of 2nd hand shoes make them feel bigger than they feel on the inside? Kids always seem to think that a new pair of shoes makes them run faster & jump higher. Do you think that the kids who put on shoes worn by our kids feel that way? I bet they're feet feel a thousand times heavier. They've walked a walk some of us only see on T.V.
Rav, you are in a position to try. Your efforts may not always bear fruit. But you are in a position to try to help, try to make a difference everyday. But it is easy to become jaded. Doing what you do. I don't think though, that the 'system' is successful in always helping or reforming. On paper, maybe it's supposed to. But it's not happening. Something is wrong here.
9/21/06
I'm all dried up........
This is what Tabitha said to me this morning, just before she asked me to post a "guest spot". I told her that I wouldn't know what to say, that I couldn't do it. But here I am, typing away. I probably shouldn't be writing anything, as I usually get myself into trouble when I open my mouth. Apparently I'm just not happy if my foot is not in my mouth. Speaking of feet, I'm not sure if Tab ever mentioned how we first met, so i will. We were working at a summer camp together. It was her first summer as a counselor and it was my 4th, I think. I must mention that from the moment I saw Tabitha I was totally smitten. She will tell you that I was a totally cocky a-hole and that she hated me from the start. I won't argue with sometimes being cocky, but I know she wanted me from the get go too. We were doing staff training, some game where everyone had to move across an area with only 2 people touching the ground at the same time or something like that. Being that it was my 4th summer, and I was in a quasi-supervisory position, I began to dictate how I thought we could, as a team of course, solve the problem (you can see why she would call me a cocky a-hole). I volunteered to be one of the two people touching the ground in the marked area. Everyone else was walking across our feet to get to the other side. I believe that it was my idea to do so, although I must admit that I'm not totally sure anymore. As I said, I was at this point completely bewildered by Tabitha's beauty and personality and had been trying to work up the courage to speak to her all during our training. As she was coming across my feet, I though it was the perfect opportunity. I struggled to quickly think of something to say. As she stepped onto my foot, I noticed she was wearing the same sneakers as I was. Weird, I thought, that she would be wearing men's shoes. But here was my chance and I wasn't going to waste it. Mustering up all the courage I could, I opened my mouth to say how beautiful she was, how amazing I thought she was, and out it came, "nice shoes".
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