Guest Spot- Where Are We Going?

Tonight, Tabba and I were watching one of our new favorite TV shows, The First 48. It is on A&E, Thursdays at 9pm. Each episode focuses on 2 separate Homicide investigations. The camera follows the Detectives for the first 48 hours of the investigations. Statistically, after the first 48 hours, the odds that a Homicide will be solved decreases by 50%.

Anyway, each episode is pretty sad, and they usually catch the killer, but not always. Tonight, a mother and her two year old daughter were shot and killed by the mom's boyfriend. He shot the mother twice and shot the daughter once. The daughter was on the front porch of the house. The killer had a long history of violent crimes, and domestic violence.

I just don't get it. I am a probation and parole officer. I supervise some offenders who are on probation for domestic violence. We have a domestic violence unit, whose officers specialize in handling these cases, but not all cases "qualify". I guess beating your wife once, isn't enough. The other day, I was in court for a violation of probation hearing. My offender had violated a no contact order issued by the court. Unfortunately, the court misplaced the report I submitted and it was not in the Judge's file. So the violation was dismissed. This time, the offender did not beat, threaten or harass his wife. But what message does this send to him? He walked through a no contact order and there was no consequence. Now, he is going to be more inclined to do it again. And next time, maybe he won't be so nice. The way these cases are handled is ridiculous.

I see people who spend more time in jail for having a little pot, than people who beat their spouses or children. And these offender's generally already have superiority complexes. They feel that they did not do anything wrong. And we let them keep thinking that. I just don't know where we are going. Just the other day in downstate Delaware, a man killed his estranged wife in front of their 9 year old son. He stabbed her 20 times with a screw driver. She had a protection from abuse order in place against him.

What is going on here? Things are not looking good for us. But here we are, tuning in every week to see the murder and the mayhem up close and personal.

Let me say here that yes, we're tuning in. But I know I don't 'enjoy' what is happening to innocent people. My heart aches & my body screams on the inside for all of these victims. Is tuning in horrible? Maybe. But I know this is happening. I feel that by seeing what is going on that it makes it real for me. I know that something needs to be done. I think what is horrible is that I know this is happening, but I am not part of a solution. The most that I can say I've done is that the kids & I have taken coats, shoes, hats, gloves & clothes to a women & children's shelter. Does that help someone leave their abuser behind? Does that change the mind-set of that poor battered woman who knows nothing else but abuse & pain & black eyes? Does that speak to a child who feels invisible? The child that wants to save their mommy. Do a pair of 2nd hand shoes make them feel bigger than they feel on the inside? Kids always seem to think that a new pair of shoes makes them run faster & jump higher. Do you think that the kids who put on shoes worn by our kids feel that way? I bet they're feet feel a thousand times heavier. They've walked a walk some of us only see on T.V.
Rav, you are in a position to try. Your efforts may not always bear fruit. But you are in a position to try to help, try to make a difference everyday. But it is easy to become jaded. Doing what you do. I don't think though, that the 'system' is successful in always helping or reforming. On paper, maybe it's supposed to. But it's not happening. Something is wrong here.

2 ripples in the pond:

jen said...

love the guest spot edition.

and from a trained professional, no less.

Ravioli said...

Well I may be trained, but I'm not so sure about professional ;)