In approximately two weeks, my calendar will turn yet again.
With that approach, I will be hitting my third decade. I will teeter there and wait for three-oh to grab hold.
(Oh, shush. I know you're all rolling your eyes at me. I know that I'm the baby of the "group".)

I feel that as such, this marks the end of something.
And not necessarily in a bad way.
But it definitely has the closing of a chapter feel.

And because of this, I have decided
A) that I need to celebrate this birthday - as I usually don't celebrate myself on my birthday.
B) I have been doing more introspection and self-evaluation than I normally do. (which means I've been doing A LOT).

I've been thinking about all that has been wrapped up, accomplished, discovered, and experienced in these two decades.
The roads have been rough, meandering.
Making their way to smoother, more purposeful ones.

I have found pieces of myself that I had thought were long gone and had become useless litter that lined my road.
I have learned how to (more) easily identify that meaningful "litter" that I discarded without knowing any better and the "litter" that is simply just that...trash.
Whether that be unhealthy people, habits, or mindsets.

I have become much more comfortable with this personality of mine, this essence that spans more than the (almost) three decades.
For it reaches much farther back.
It resides in the 1940's.
Completely skips over the 1950's.
And picks back up again in the late 60's-early 70's.
I was born before my time - if that makes any sense.
I'm simply an old soul.
And I've come to accept that as OK.
It's OK that I may be the only 20-something who watched Are You Being Served? and Laugh-In (on Nick-at-Nite with Three Dog Night Dad & Eileen) growing up.
It's totally rockin'(I think)that I get goosebumps when I see 40's era cars, clothing, and hear 40's era music.
Which brings me to the next...

I've embraced my inner geek.
And that's all I have to say on that.

These things I've listed above have always been a part of me.
But this year.
This year
I've grown into them.
They fit now.
I'm much more OK with me than I was ever before.

Not to say that there isn't more work to be done.
I'm still struggling with things.
There is still so much left to do, left to learn, left to explore.
There are inner boundaries that I want to push just a bit farther.

With all of these inner victories that I have won this year
it does make me eager to see what the year between
29 and 30 will bring.

14 ripples in the pond:

liv said...

Wait. You're going to be 29? Honestly. I can't shush. I turned 30 this year and it has been wonderful. I like myself more than I ever have, and finally feel like I'm coming into my own---goofy and all. Embrace it, love it, and amaze yourself with how young you'll feel even as another year ticks by.

Lacey said...

Happy 2 weeks from your birthday! =)

Joker The Lurcher said...

and what a brilliant thing that we have all come to know you! your blog and your comments and e-mails have enriched my life - you should very much celebrate yourself!

thailandchani said...

I think it's very likely that you are an old soul. You often put forth wisdom that I wouldn't expect from someone who is just 29 ~ to be 30 in a few weeks.

At 30, I was an idiot! :)



Becc said...

I'm proud of you! What an accomplishment!

You are a beautiful person.

Happy Birthday!

Anonymous said...

I think you are indeed an old soul sweetie and hope you have a wonderful birthday.

Tabba said...

Just to clarify....as I wasn't too clear about it in the post..
I'm 28. About to turn 29.

29 is what I feel like celebrating.
30 is a "milestone" of sorts (i guess). but 29 is what feels like should be celebrated.

Beck said...

Oh, 9 is such a NICE year! and you're right about it being the closing of a chapter - but a lovely one is about to begin.

KC said...

I'm up for a b-day in a couple of weeks too! (But no major epiphanies for me.) Celebrate! Another thing besides labor embarrassment we share!

Aliki2006 said...

I didn't do much for 29, but I threw myself into 30 because I was determined to make turning 30 *fun*!

I like your goals--they're perfect and inspiring.

flutter said...

I look forward to watching you unfold

Magpie said...

i second what chani said...

happy birthday, in advance!

Casdok said...

29 is good, 30 even better! (I think, long time ago so i dont really remember!)

Pamela said...

Happy Birthday in advance! I can't help but think that we all get better with age anyhow--like wine =) Hope that you have a blast