4/10/07

Little Effing Princess...Bleck!

Somehow, somewhere between her voyage from the birth canal to the breast and now making her way to middle-toddlerhood ( that being life age of 2 & 3/4), my daughter seems to think that I am her hired personal assistant.

She has surpassed Diva status. She's passed princess.....and you all remember how I can't stand that princess shit. And she's moved right on up to Queen status (funny how I thought that was reserved for myself and my gay friend, Bob).

I'm trying to get a handle on this situation. And I do realize she is still only two years old. But my feeling is, if she can talk to me with 12 year-old attitude then she can:

*get herself a tissue ( it is only two feet away - if that)
*go upstairs and get her own pillow
*put the caps back on the markers
*go upstairs and ask Daddy to get her some strawberries
*walk up the stairs by herself - without being carried
*pick up whatever desired object is on the floor a mere inches from her cute, fat little feet

I've tried different tactics. The typical: You're a big girl. You can go upstairs and get your pillow. Or the less effective: Grace! If your nose is running and you need a tissue, you can walk over to that shelf and get one. Then mommy will help you wipe your nose.

Whining, demanding, stubborn behavior has taken over (between both of the kids). So I've now resorted to "I" statements. Such as the following:

*I don't help little boys who whine & yell at their mommies.
*I don't help little girls who whine & yell at their mommies.
*I will only help little children who will help themselves - or try - first.
*I don't really care who picks up the toys or how they get picked up. But. If mommy picks up the toys, she gets a trash bag.

Those are just a few. For starters.
And I guess it does sound a little cruel - maybe a little sarcastic or smart-ass.
But it helps.
Probably more with Connor than with Grace.

I just don't get Grace. She's so stubborn and bull-headed. And this attitude of me as her personal slave is crazy. I guess I must have somehow created this problem. Though I really don't consider myself one of those nutty parents.
Either that or she's testing the waters - which is completely possible and normal.

All I know is I have to figure out a way to nip this little bud.

3 ripples in the pond:

jen said...

what if you tried some reverse psychology on her...ask HER to get things for YOU.

Joker The Lurcher said...

i read this and thought "i am no psychologist but what i would do..." and then read jen's post which is exactly what i was going to say!

maybe "while i get you your tissue can you pop and get me that book?" that way she gets to feel looked after and you get to feel looked after too. from reading some of what you have written before it is maybe that rubber band thing from when you were a kid and had to be too grown up and it feels like someone pulling at your clothes when grace makes these unreasonable demands?

maybe we only have so much giving to use in life and if you give it all out when you are a little kid you run out and its only if someone tops up your giving supply that you find more? so if she does stuff for you too it tops you up as well.

with my son i sometimes offer to run him a bath or something that he could do himself but he loves that caring thing and he is so grateful it makes me feel like i am normally really neglectful! really it is because when i was a kid my mum used to run me a bath and put half her bath cube in it and it nearly always makes me want to cry when i do it. now my son is older i have explained this to him and he appreciates that i am not just turning on a tap but doing something more important.

sorry for the long comment but i think our childhoods bounce back the whole time in our parenting and its as well to recognise it and find ways round it. hope i haven't spoken out of turn....

Tabba said...

Joker - you haven't spoken out of turn & maybe the tone of my post doesn't reflect the humor or what I was really trying to say.
I am perfectly happy doing for her or Connor....and I do tend to her pretty often. And she is usually pretty helpful with me, as well. And that is why I guess I was feeling a little burnt on her demands. She has been demanding just to be demanding and to see how far she can go with it.
I'm trying to teach her a bit of independence (she's very attached to mommy).
I didn't realize that I sounded so harsh on her. I find that often happens when I speak or write - how I think it sounds is completely different than how it comes out.