Diamonds On The Inside

I think, even in today's "progressed" society, that the expectation put on women to mother - to enjoy it 24/7 is an unrealistic one. And I think that is especially true for those of us who make the choice to stay at home. (Let me just say here, the choice for a mother to work is a personal one & this is not the SAHM vs. the working mother. I'm talking about society as a whole here.)

If we complain - or talk about the trials and tribulations of our work, we commonly get the, "Well, why don't you just go back to work then?" or "That's the price you pay." or "I wish I got to stay at home all day, everyday. You don't know how good you've got it.".

Yes. Yes, I made that "choice" - if you'd like to call it that.

But.

BUT.

No one makes those snide, condescending remarks to a person who makes the "choice" to work. You don't hear someone say to a working person who is mentally worn out from work, "Well, you chose to work, so deal with it." And the other ugly truth is that it is wrong for a mother to say, "I'm sick of my kids. I'm sick of the tattleing. I'm sick of wiping asses and noses and fingerprints off of everything. I'm sick of feeling sucked dry by constant caretaking. I'm sick of not showering. I'm sick of fixing mac 'n cheese, hot dogs, PB&J's, chicken nuggets & cuppies. Day in. Day out. I'm sick of everyday looking the same despite the seasons changing. I'm sick of all day, everyday being work. I get no break. I get no recognition. I get no stimulation. And people don't ask me 'How's your job going? What's new with you?' They ask my kids. They ask my husband - because he has a job. But they don't ask me. I'm the last in line for everything. For breakfast, for getting dressed, for getting cleaned up, for lunch, for TV, for reading, for dinner and for bed. I get no sick time, no vacation time. Oh, and my hours suck."

I mean, if someone goes to work - or is merely employed, they have the right to complain about their boss, their coworkers, their underlings, the secretary, the commute, the fax machine, the copier, the long hours, the flourescent lighting, or whatever.

But we're not allowed. It sounds cruel. How can we say those things? We are mothers. We are soft and good and motherly. Saying those things is an abomination.

Why is that??