3/30/07

My Heart Just Stopped

It is the ass-crack of dawn, & I am awake. Today is going to be a rough day. Can't really get into details, but it will be keeping me away for the next few days. I just wanted to "report" on a few things.

I got my paper finished by 10:30 a.m. yesterday. It probably wasn't one of my better papers, but whateva.

The awards assembly was........awesome. Connor was so happy to receive his award. I swear, I don't think I've ever seen my baby boy that happy before. I was completely overwhelmed. I couldn't contain the tears. Yes, I think I must be one of those nutty mcnutster moms.
However, as soon as we walked into the school office & signed in, upon arriving at Connor's school, I knew it was going to be an emotional day.

This little girl we encountered, I haven't been able to get out of my mind.

When we walked into the office to sign in, there was a little girl standing in the office. She couldn't have been any more than 9. And there was a school "official" talking to her - I wasn't really paying them too much attention. And then I heard...

Sweetheart, I'm really sorry your mommy died.

And then the little girl said:
I know. Her heart just stopped.

I felt the tears welling up, my face fell, and I seriously wanted to hug that little girl so tight. I looked at her face as she was walking by me and she looked so....serene. She looked so strong.
But I know inside, that little girl has got be a wreck. Even if she doesn't know it.

Rav & I turned our backs to look at pictures in a display while waiting in the office & when I turned back around, that little girl was reaching out to touch Gracie's hand (who was in my mother's arms) and was talking to Gracie.
And my heart stopped.
The emotions that washed over me as a mom - for this little girl. A girl I don't even know. Watching her reaching out to my daughter. I was beyond words.

The emotions of the day were almost too much for me to handle & process.

Such sadness & then the next moment, such happiness.

I think I will be thinking about that little girl for quite some time.

4 ripples in the pond:

Oh, The Joys said...

I... I can't even go there today. I"m so sorry you had to...

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Joker The Lurcher said...

so so sorry to read about this. i hope your next few days will be ok.

Slackermommy said...

I think my heart just stopped. How sad for that little girl. We knew a family that lost their mother. The middle daughter who was 9 at the time told me that she wanted to find the tallest tree to climb so she could touch her mom. I still can't relay that story without crying.