Teach Your Children Well

Set the scene:
Late Saturday evening, after we all came back home from a grown-up time in Baltimore and the kids having grandparent time. Rav & I begin bedding down for the night.

We were chatting and canoodling and just generally being cutesy before bed.

And Action!
We heard Connor get out of bed and make his way into the bathroom.
We stopped our little flirtation to listen and we heard Connor began to expell his stream.
And as this happened there was an unusual um, tone to it.
We both look at each other and mirrored identical looks and passed identical thoughts:
That doesn't sound good.

Rav jumps up and heads into the hallway to find a stream of pee followed by a puddle.

The stream is making it's way from the doorway of the chilun's bedroom, making a vast arc, and collecting in a pool on the hallway floor.

There is our son, with his pants around his ankles in all his glory.
Really, there was nothing left to do but let him finish at that point.

Rav asks Connor with a hint of exasperation and alarm in his voice
Buddy!? What are you doing?!
To which Connor replies as he begins to sob a little
Gracie told me to do it!!!!

Meanwhile, Gracie is entrenched in slumber.

Rav cleans things up as I sit laughing from the bed.
This did not amuse him at all.
And obviously, it wasn't the bathroom that we heard Connor walking to. Just his doorway which in his dazed state must resemble a toilet.

Sunday we made our way down to see Three Dog Night Dad, Eileen, and my brothers.
Half-way there, Connor says to me
Mom. I didn't know that your brothers were around when Mimi and Pop-Pop were married.

I said They weren't around Connor. I was the only one.
Curiousity grips him firmly and he says
Well how did Uncle Kenny & Uncle Ian become your brothers?

I explained plainly Well. When Mimi & Pop-Pop were done being married, Pop-Pop met Mom-mom and married her.....
and as I begin to explain that my brothers are my brothers because we share the same dad, Connor breaks in with this:

OH!!!! I see. It was a switch-off marry.


Connor comes home from school on a daily basis with a worksheet that is broken down into two parts. The top part has four empty boxes to draw in and the bottom part is where the practice the letter they are working on that day.

Yesterday, the class worked on the letter 'T'.

I saw that he had drawn a turtle.

He had even written our last name, which has two T's in it.

He drew a train.

And the last picture was less recognizeable.

I ask Connor to identify for me the picture he had drawn.

He clucked a little and says It's a toilet!!!

10 ripples in the pond:

thailandchani said...

ROTFL!! Oh, I can only imagine.. .only.. imagine!



flutter said...

He is a riot!

Aliki2006 said...

Oh, that toilet scene! I had to laugh when I read that...

He has such an imagination, he really does.

Her Grace said...

Hilarious! When my brother was about that age, he woke up one night while we were at the drive in together. He and I were tucked in the back of our Suburban fast asleep while my parents watched the movie. He got up, pulled down his pants, and peed on my mom's head. Hee! He'll never live it down.

My kids have yet to ask why my mom and dad aren't married. I keep waiting for it, but it just seems to be the status quo for them.

KC said...

What? No pictures of the doorway pee? That would have been SERIOUS blackmail.

liv said...

Ummm....yeah. Potty problems has pretty much been synonymous with PDD in my house. Ugh.

phenom said...

hehe, that's hilarious. I'm sure one/both of my boys will be doing that in due time.

btw, whenever I read "pop-pop" I think of Arrested Development (the show, not the musical group). :)

carrie said...

Someone has the letter "T" on the brain!

I love these conversations!

Jen M. said...

Oh yeahhhhh....late night pee clean up. The best foreplay ever ;)

Becc said...

OMG!!! LMAO!!!!!

I had to go read this one to Lance!!!!

That is flipping hilarious!!!!!