First Day Jitters

Today is my first day at the new job.
Two weeks of training. And then, the real thing.
I'm working myself up to that point.
Right now, I'm just trying to get through today.

The past 3-4 years is flashing in front and behind me.
Endless questions.
And deep hope that I did the best I could do with the time that I had at home with my babies.

Yes, I know I did a lot.
I fear that it wasn't enough.
And now it's gone.

I hate that times are how they are and I'm forced, basically, to do this.
It's not a matter of choice.
It is have to.

I'm nervous and scared.
I'm surprised at myself and the fact that I slept last night & have been able to eat breakfast.
Usually those are the first two things that go when I'm nervous.
Though, I had a dream I was married to Christopher (Micheal Imperioli) from The Sopranos, and that while I was in the house with Gracie, the family took a hit out on him.
They spared us though.

Well, wish me luck.

I miss the kids already.

13 ripples in the pond:

Her Grace said...

My thoughts are with you today, Momma. I know how hard this must be. Kids are resiliant and they will feel your beautiful love wherever you are and wherever they are. I hope this transition goes smoothly for all of you and GOOD LUCK on your first day.

(And will it make you feel any better if I told you that, just last week, I dreamt I was married to Christopher too??? How bizarre.)

jen said...

fantastic good luck, sister. a whole new world is opening itself to you. savor it, even the hard stuff. have a terrific first day.

liv said...

Sugar, you are going to make it. I know because leaving the babies at home was hard for me too, but now, as I sit here at the computer while constantly being pestered by a neurologically atypical 58 month old, I ask myself, "Why am I home?!?"

carrie said...

Aaaaw, you are gonna do great! The first day of anything is always scary, but you'll find that in the end, it was much easier than you thought and it will only get easier.

Plus, I'll bet the hugs and kisses you get when you get home are even sweeter.


deb said...

You'll do wonderful.

thailandchani said...

Much luck to you.. and I hope you are able to find some satisfaction with the job, too.

I will be very interested in reading from you.. more about how you like the job, how it felt to be there and so on.

You know.. all of it. :)



Anonymous said...

Hey Tabba! Just wanted to see how your first day went! Hope all is well.
Love Dawnie

Pgoodness said...

Hope your first day went well! Thinking of you on this new adventure.

KC said...

Hope it went just swimmingly- not so bad, right?

Deezee said...

eager to here the details...hope it went well...

Magpie said...

I hope it was great.

alejna said...

I hope the first day went well. (I'm sure it was exhausting. First days always are.) Did you feel like you were playing a role most of the day? I imagine that's how I'd feel if I went back to a "normal" job.

Anyhow, I wish you the best.

Joker The Lurcher said...

just catching up after a week in a tent! hope it went well...