Politics of Commenting and Blogging

I've stated on here before that when I started this blog, I simply started it for me.
And no one else.

I didn't expect to find the community that rests here.
I needed to pour myself out and release some things from the traps of my mind.

I struggled to get readers for awhile, and then found that I had some regulars.
During the winter time, I had ample time to blog.
There wasn't a lot going on during the cold months that kept me from it.

And I have been feeling guilty about feeling like I am taking lately, more than I am giving.
And now that my situation has changed, I am trying to make my rounds - like I used to do.
But life is here. It is in my face.
I found that I am not able to post as much as I would like.
I start to and find myself staring at a blank post page.
And I have nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Not only that I find that I am lurking.
I am still supporting you all and reading.
But I am all out of things to say right now.
Just because I don't comment, doesn't meant that I don't value you or your content. It just means I am listening.

And I have found that sometimes it just isn't enough to be here.
It is expected that I deliver content and comments.
That practice is bugging me.
I read plenty of people that I comment on & never hear a word.
But I still enjoy what they have to say.
I don't take it personally.

I am coming to my wits end with blogging.
And quite frankly, am contemplating just walking away from the whole freaking thing.

23 ripples in the pond:

liv said...

so take a break. when it it comes to you is when you should write. otherwise, you're just kind of forcing material that may or may not resonate because it doesn't really mean much to you.

re:comments: I notice that some people talk back and some don't. I like to write back to comments and personally find that is where the party is.

jen said...

ah. maybe you do need a break. and if that is what you need we'll be here when you get back. it can be overwhelming at times. you have to take care of you first.

but sister, i LOVE the new look. wow.

deb said...

You're allowed to read and not comment. I often don't comment, depends on how I feel and if I have something worthwhile to add.

As for writing in the summer it's much harder, you're right. I started last fall when there was no garden, no light after supper, it was easy to sit down at the computer but now, now I don't as much.

Do what works best for you sweetie.

Her Grace said...

I think it's a very fine line. There's a lot of community in blogging, but it can go too far. If you're feeling pressure to comment when you don't have the time/don't feel like it, then it's not fun any more. Same with feeling like you have to put out content. Blogging is supposed to be fun -- a hobby -- but it can easily cross over into something less pleasant.

I hope you don't quit, because I love your blog, but if you do, I totally understand. I quit a year or so ago for very similar reasons and am trying to strike a balance now that I'm back.

Take care...LOVE the new look!

phenom said...

I read like 50 million blogs a day and comment on pretty much none of them. I then stare at my own blog and write... nothing. Irregardless (my favorite nonword, hehe), it's all a welcome respite from the everyday. I've been a lurker my entire life, and I've always played my cards close to the vest. That doesn't take away any of the enjoyment of reading your blog and those of others.

And there's always room on the lurker wagon. :)

Joker The Lurcher said...

i'd love to be unselfish enough to say give it up for a bit but i would really miss both your blog and your comments. maybe just a little break...

Mary-LUE said...

1) Love the new look.

2) You are coming off an intense time the last few weeks. You may need more time off before you have things to say.

3) I know exactly what you mean. I wish there were some way to just leave some sort of calling card so that people knew you were there without your having to actually say anything. (I know that there are stat counters, but I can't always tell who is who on mine.) In fact, I've been pondering a post, which I haven't had the time and energy to write, about community. I attended a workshop years ago, a community building workshop, and the first--or near first--principle was don't speak unless you feel moved to speak. It was truly a new idea for me but I could see how it worked. It gave me permission to accept that just my presence was important to the group. I didn't have to talk and by talking when I wasn't really having something to say, I was taking away time and space from others who might have something to share.

Anyway, that has recently been something I've been thinking about. So, I hope that you find some resolution which makes you happy with the blogging. I would hate for you to hang it up entirely. I've enjoyed coming here, but of course, I understand if that is what you need to do.

Oh, The Joys said...

Lately I read more than comment too. It's just become really huge to let it be whatever I want it to be each day.

Beck said...

I've decided to be more relaxed about commenting this summer - which means that I've inadvertently hurt some people's feelings. :/
It REALLY depends where you're commenting. There's a whole group of what I think of as "superstar" blogs where you just do not see them in anyway anywhere else in the blogosphere. Frankly, I don't bother with them

Beck said...

I've decided to be more relaxed about commenting this summer - which means that I've inadvertently hurt some people's feelings. :/
It REALLY depends where you're commenting. There's a whole group of what I think of as "superstar" blogs where you just do not see them in anyway anywhere else in the blogosphere. Frankly, I don't bother with them

Her Bad Mother said...

it's SO hard to blog in the summer - that is, to be a good blog citizen. but the bloggy blahs can hit any time of year, and when they do, you takeses a little break and DON'T SWEAT IT. Everyone will be here when you get back.

Tabba said...

All of the comments here have been great. But I wanted to speak to Liv's comment directly. Because that one spoke so closely to how I feel.

Liv: that is exactly it. the forcing. forcing of content which isn't there and feeling forced to comment in order to have a blog "relationship". it bothers me.

That being said, I have had a lot of emotions going on. guilt for feeling completely selfish. guilt towards the kids for spending what I think is way too much time on the computer.

there has been a quiet to fall over me the past few months. a quiet of the mind. i want to be involved here. i want people to know they matter and what they say matters.
but right now it is all just.....
well, too much.

Tabba said...

HBM: thank you. thank you for that comment.

As well as the rest of you.

flutter said...

Tabba? Do what you need to do, and how you need to do it.

I'll love you either way.

Lacey said...

Take a break...but come back! I like to read your blog! I don't always comment but sometimes I just don't have much to say or everybody that already commented has already said everything! And I don't think you should feel pressured to write. Just write it when it comes and don't when it doesn't. It's your blog and you should run it the way you feel like it!

Aliki2006 said...

No pressure here--do what you need to do! But I recently discovered your blog and love your voice, so I'll be here when you get back--if you do need a break!

Pgoodness said...

write, don't write. comment, or don't. Either way, know that your faithful are here and will be here if you blog daily or monthly or whatever. As far as comments, I love to read comments and think they are awesome, but if no one ever commented again, I'm still going to blog anyway. I enjoy the community and support, but really? It's for me. The community is just a bonus. But like any family, sometimes you just need a break from all of it. Hang in there!

KC said...

I know how you feel, and sometimes I feel like it's another full-time job keeping up with commenting and reading and writing. In fact, I started a post entitled "IT'S A FREAKING FULL-TIME JOB!" which has about 2 lines so far.

I feel guilty for not commenting when people have on mine, yet sometimes I fall so behind and opening up my Bloglines makes me hyperventilate seeing 50 posts out there. I need to get over this and feel okay for skipping, for some self-preservation.

I hope you never feel pressured to comment regularly on my blog!

Tabba said...

KC - no, not at all. I just find it very hard to balance everything. On top of feeling like I've hit a writer's block spell and a bit more of an "observer" role lately out here in blogland.
Not to mention, feeling forced to communicate. I'm not digging that.
I communicate when I feel moved to. And feeling forced to beyond that is just too much.

Jen said...

okay, i know this was not the point of your post... but, i read your blog pretty much whenever i get a chance, and i RARELY comment... and now i'm feeling guilty, too! see, it's just that some of us (even those who have no connection whatsoever to catholicism, like me!) are guilt-prone. you clearly seem to be among the ranks of the guilt-prone. and btw, i've considered starting to blog, but i haven't even written a single post yet. it's not about quantity in life or blog-world, it's quality -- and you've got it. ;)

jen r.

p.s. sent you an email about a bike ride in september.

Tabba said...

jen r. - even when you don't comment, I know you check in when you can. and then you pop in my comments and put a big smile on my face :)

And yes, I am a close, personal friend of guilt.

I'm checking my email.
right now!

carrie said...

You should not feel like you "have" to do anything regarding your writing and commenting. If you don't feel like it, don't do it.

It shouldn't be work and my goodness, if anyone gets their panties in a bunch just because you haven't commented - they need to get a life.

Tabba, don't beat yourself up about this. The REAL connections you've made here will weather whatever happens. And if you keep writing, I'll keep reading - because you're YOU. And you're fabulous!

No pressure -


Tabba said...

Carrie - you're a doll. thank you for your encouraging words.