5/18/07

Narcissus In Wide Open Laughter

Within the past few years or so, I've realized that I don't have many recent pictures of myself. And even fewer that are good.
Since having kids, I find that most of the time, I am the one behind the camera.
And that is pretty OK by me.
But there aren't many where a sweet moment has been captured with me in the picture.
And that does leave me longing a little.

If you walked into my mother's house, you'd see plenty of pictures of the kids. My cute, lively, little kids. There might even be a picture or two of the kids and Rav. But rarely, very rarely, do I ever make the snapshot. Like I said, I'm OK with that.

Now, I don't consider myself to be a vain person. But the thing that sort of gets to me is that, the handful of pictures there are of me aren't great. Most of them, my face looks funny. In fact, the most recent pictures of myself I don't even recognize the face starring back at me. There are (laugh) lines where there were none before, there are cheeks that are a bit chubbier than I am accustomed to. I have changed and barely have any evidence to prove it.
What is even more sad is the fact that, there is little evidence of me caught in a moment. A moment that happened and a moment where I look like myself, a moment that has caught me making the right face.

Jen said in a comment a few posts back: i think that's how i picture you, head back in wide open laughter.

And when I think of me, when I'm in my element, that's what I see. But like I've said, I have very few photos to prove it. So, here are a few. A few that I knew I had. And the only reason that they exist is because A) They were taken on the day to beat all days. and B) The guy was paid to take pictures of me.

So, Jen....I think this is what you might have been picturing.







And no, I was not drunk. Not even a little buzzed. These shots are probably a photographer's worst nightmare. Who wants to stare down someone's pie hole? But they are me.

This week, I've been trying to be kind to myself. And share parts of myself I don't always get to. That's the deal with this post. It's a tad vain. I know. But there is beauty in each of us. And we don't often stop to appreciate it.

10 ripples in the pond:

Oh, The Joys said...

Those photos just make my day!

Joker The Lurcher said...

you look beautiful! i am always behind the camera too

jen said...

that is EXACTLY how i picture you.

radiant.

Her Bad Mother said...

Those photos are DELOVELY.

Slackermommy said...

Damn girl, you're gorgeous!

I've been wondering, are you going to Blogher? I hope so.

deb said...

You look lovely and you look like you're having such a good time. Made me smile, thanks.

carrie said...

You are so lucky to have those pictures of yourself, you little beauty, you!

You have a gorgeous smile. Thanks for sharing the moment.

Carrie

Mary-LUE said...

The pictures are great (as is the family photo, I never told you that...) Obviously you are someone who knows how to enjoy life! To do a picture of me like that justice, I would have to have an audio clip attached--I have an ear piercing laugh that can be heard in the next county. :P

Mary-LUE said...

The pictures are great (as is the family photo, I never told you that...) Obviously you are someone who knows how to enjoy life! To do a picture of me like that justice, I would have to have an audio clip attached--I have an ear piercing laugh that can be heard in the next county. :P

Pippajo said...

There is NOTHING vain about this post! There's nothing wrong with liking pictures of yourself or listing things you like about yourself. Now, if you've got a larger-than-life oil painting of you in the nude hanging over the fireplace or on the ceiling over your bed, THAT might be vain.

I agree, those pics are fabulous! I don't even know you in RL but I can tell that's the real you. You make me want to post some pics of my wedding day, but I think our scanner's broken...hmmm...one more task to add to The Viking's Honey-Do list...