Room Inside For Me

I was recently asked to reflect upon the things that I love about myself and the things that are unique about me.
I can't help but feel a tad like running head first into a brick wall.
See, I don't think I've ever thought about it.
And truly it isn't something that I would typically blog about.
But the person asking me to do this is quite special.
And I know there is a pretty good reason that she has asked me to do it. And she cared enough about me to ask me to do it.

The thing(s) I think I love about myself would probably be that I'm not what people would expect. I'm very short - all 5' 1" of me. I used to be pretty thin. Before Gracie got ahold of my body, anyway. And I've always looked rather young. I'll probably get carded for some time to come, though the crow's feet around my eyes may give me away pretty soon. I think what people would expect from my compact package is a limp noodle, a wee maiden, a demure, quiet, lamb.

But I think I'm pretty strong. Physically. And I do thoroughly enjoy manual labor. I like dirt. I like working in dirt. I like being sweaty. I like working until my hands and fingers burn from fatigue. I like a challenge. I like working at something difficult and getting it done. I like operating heavy equipment. I drool over brand new Bobcats and tractors are sexy.

I also am a bulldog when it comes to something I believe strongly in. I'm passionate, steadfast, and stubborn. I'm animated. I am full of life. I am sunshine. I am light. (Despite what you may think or what you have heard.)
And I love that about myself.

I love that when my friends or my family need advice or are having a personal crisis, they call me. They open up and they count on my opinion/thoughts. They know that I will always be there to listen.

I love that I am an open book. I have nothing to hide. I love to share. Be it my thoughts, my experiences, my food, my home, my belongings, my emotions. All of it.

I love that I am in love with the world.

I love that I am perceptive and that I can feel what someone else is feeling. I love that I can see through things to what will happen, what someone will say, what someone will do. I'm not going all out and saying I'm psychic. But I just know things. And I love that my ability to feel what other people are feeling allows me to have the wide-open heart that I do. I love that I want to fight for those who can't fight for themselves - or who just need a cheerleader.

I love that I know how to embrace dark times, as well as, light, happy times. The dark times leave me feeling washed up, but that is when the biggest and best changes occur. I love that I can take them for what they are, make my way through them, and move on to enjoy the good.

I love my name. I used to hate it when I was a kid. But I have come to love my name. And I love that my Dad named me. Because I know that it means something to him. (And no, he didn't choose it because of Bewitched).

This was really, really hard for me to do. And I'm not sure that it came out the way I wanted it to. It's not eloquently written like I wanted it to be. It's just me. In black and white. But these are the things that I love about myself.
I really needed to hear myself say them.

(I almost feel like Stuart Smalley)

7 ripples in the pond:

Kevin Charnas said...

And sometimes it's really good to remind ourselves of what we "love". In our society, we focus too much on what we "hate". And nothing good ever comes from hate.

Great Mother's Day pic!

Happy Belated Mother's Day! :)

carrie said...

Aaaaaw. You are such an inspiration (and totally NOT in a Stuart Smalley kind of way).

Thank you for sharing your loveliness!


Oh, The Joys said...

I think the "what I love about myself" should become a meme. I loved hearing those things about you.

Slackermommy said...

I love it. You did a great job.

jen said...

wow. what a lovely post. i love that you are this tiny ball of fire who loves to drive heavy machinery. when i read that i pictured you in a forklift doing donuts laughing yourself silly.

i think that's how i picture you, head back in wide open laughter. in love with this world, just like you said.

this is beautiful, tab.

thailandchani said...

This is a very interesting post... so revealing of the person behind the screen.

This is one I'd really have to think about. It's not a concept I've embraced all that much.

In your case, I find your brightness to be very appealing. When you write something, there's always something clean and shining between the lines.

Tabitha is an unusual name. Where did your father get the idea to name you that?



Tabba said...

Chani, this sounds terrible...I know he gave me an explanation years ago. And I can't remember! I thought he told me that he took it from the disciple Tabitha who was brought back to life by Peter in the book of Acts in The New Testament.
It's such an obscure story. But that is my dad. He gathers, just by his nature, obscure stories and information.