You Cannot Reason With The Unreasonable

Remember I was saying yesterday how I love the fact that I love to share? And one of the things I love to share is my home. I need to make an addendum to that statement.


I love sharing my home with friends.
I've come around to sharing my home with my kids.
They're growing on me.


I do not like sharing my home with furry creatures.
I've had a bat make it's way in to my first apartment. Twice.
Yeah, I wasn't a fan of that at all.


I've lived with a mouse or two.
Quite unhappily.
I absolutely cannot stand mice. I've discussed before on this here blog how my fear of mice is of biblical proportions. I cannot possibly or adequately convey the depth of loathing I have for those nasty, dirty, disease-carrying creatures.
I don't want to hear how "cute" they supposedly are.
They're disgusting.
Anyway.


I recently - and without permission - have found that I am housing, quite possibly the largest ant farm in the history of the world.


First it started with a little black ant crawling on the kitchen counter.
Look, kids! Look at this cute, little black ant all by himself. Isn't he so cute? He's so little!

Then it continued with two to four ants crawling up the wall in the bathroom.
Thought to self: They're ants. It could be worse. It could be a bat. It could be a mouse. I'll take a couple of teeny-tiny black ants any old day of the week and twice on Sunday if that means I never see a demon rodent ever. Move along little ants. I need to do my movement in privacy!

I believe that message was taken to heart by those two to four little ants. And rather than taking a meager little crumb and feasting on that for awhile, they took my little bargain and decided that was an open invitation to not only visit, but to be that annoying, unwelcome, and over-staying their welcome guest(s).

They're everywhere!
And I mean everywhere.
There's usually not that many of them.
But what is really getting to me is that there is not one room in my house that is off limits.


Rav at the end of his rope with them said to me the other day You know, a little ant here or there is no big deal. But what's really getting under my skin is that they're everywhere. It's one thing to have ants in the kitchen in larger quantities. But this scattered business is just really getting on my nerves.


I've tried reasoning with them. Despite the fact that I'm afraid in the winter time there will be a trade off, which will entail sending in a demon rodent in place of a few little ants now. But still, I've bargained with them.
Listen. I'll let you take that lone, wayward Cheerio and that little piece of Pringle, if you will just.keep.out. Tell your friends.


Rav has set traps. That seemed to work for half a minute.


I've sprayed.
Then I sprayed.
I sprayed.
Did I mention that I sprayed?

They just looked at each other, point at me and the spray bottle, and laughed collectively at me.


Last night, I had a dream about them.
It's hard to believe that with all of the things going on in the world, I have become obsessed to the point of insanity over this:


And not only that, but I've been singing The Ants Go Marching in my head every time I see one for about three weeks now. And it's the Barney version.

Clearly this whole situation cannot be good.