Collide

As promised, here is how I launched two different vehicles into two different houses:

Collision I

I was about 4. It was the early 80's. My Aunt & Uncle were living in Slower Lower. That's what we Delawareans call Sussex County. It was, I believe, a Saturday. My Aunt was running errands and babysitting me. We pulled up outside the Post Office. She looks me in the eye, points to the gear shift and says, "Don't touch that." Well, what the hell do you think a 4 year old is gonna do when given a warning like that? She leaves me in the car, unattended, to go into the post office. I hop in the driver's seat (I used to love to pretend to drive). I 'touched the gear shift' and away I went. I coasted across the two lanes of traffic, barreled over a curb, into someone's yard and yup, into the corner of the house. My aunt comes running out of the post office, across the street & has words with the lady whose house has been (minorly) damaged. It was a horrible scene. My aunt was shaken, I was (inside) like "YES!!!!" and she forbid me from ever telling anyone. Now I'm telling everyone. For those of you who don't already know the story.

Karma....it will come to get you.......

Collision II

I was living with Bryan. It was January & I was on my way to work. I went outside to warm up my vehicle. Which was at the time a POS Jeep Cherokee, stick-shift, with a soon-to-be-found-out faulty emergency break. So, I start the jeep, run inside for something which I forgot. I run in our room & say to Bryan (as a joke), "Can you look outside to see if the Jeep is ok. I wouldn't want it to drift down the driveway." He got up, looked outside and said, "Uh, well, it's in the ______'s yard." I said something along the lines of , "Shut the f$%# up, stop joking." He was like, "I'm not." I look outside and there is my vehicle, crashed into the corner of their house. And the whole family looking like, "What the f@#$?" We go out there, they're having a cow, I'm having a cow. The police were called, as well as the fire department being dispatched. A few tickets were handed over to me, along with future court dates which led to restitution and paying back ridiculous amounts of $. The thing is...the real rub and there are a few, are these things:
-the ______'s and Bryan's family do NOT get along. So, of all houses for my rolling vehicle to hit. This one was perfect-o
-the County policeman who arrived on the scene insinuated that I had done this on purpose. Yeah, ok. I don't know them. I only know them as the neighbors that we don't talk to. Sure, fuzzball. I intentionally want to go to court, pay all kinds of $ I don't have just to break a piece of their vinyl siding. That's how I roll. Could you imagine what I would do to someone who I really didn't like?? Gimme a break.

So, there it is. Now for those of you who read my blog and don't know. Now ya do.