10/5/06

Days Like This

Yesterday I was in the shower (can you believe it??) I was thinking about Pippajo's post the other day & realizing how badly things in my life are being neglected.

My kids, my husband, my dog, our Netflix queue, the book 'Wicked' that I bought to read & it sits......Gracie's costume isn't far along as I'd like, my kitchen floor, my yard, our car and the list goes on and on.
The thing is I get so overwhelmed that I have NO clue where to start. I throw my hands up in the air at the thought of cleaning my house. With two small children, I feel like, "What's the point?" Everday, I walk by the festering pile of toys and promise to weed them out. And the thing is, I do. But somehow, someway they seem to multiply exponentially by touch....or something.

*Ravioli & I neglect ourselves & our marriage everyday. Not willingly. Just part of daily living. The mundane, the everyday can strangle the life out of anything. We, like most married couples, have fallen into a routine that could, quite possibly, qualify us for AARP.
*We've gotten so wrapped up in our crappy TV viewing routine, that we are neglecting movies that have been sitting here in our house & in our queue.
*I had this grand delusion that Connor attending school everyday for 3+ hours would transform me & this house into the very vision of perfect homemaker & perfect house. The only thing the Connor-free afternoons have allowed for is for me to do absolutely.......nothing.
*Awhile back, I had this wonderful idea to give myself approximately 45 minutes one night a week to take a bath and give myself a facial, a 'pedicure', a hand treatment and to scrub the nasty dead skin away with Clinique's Body Scrub (mmmm, LOVE this stuff). Do I have any idea when the last time I did that was???????? I mean, my family could stand to have a clean mommy in the house. But it's a luxury they'll have to do without.

**The only thing I haven't neglected is my blogging. I always can find time to do that. So, I hope that I/we are not neglecting these things because we want to neglect them. I don't want to feel like if I walk into an electronics store, the kids will see a computer, run up to it & call it 'Mommy'. Or have them sit on a couch in some therapist's office and say, "My mom loved us once. She paid so much attention to us. But then.........she.....started.......blogging ! " (insert great sobs & wails here).

I need to make an effort to put just as much of myself in everything here, in the real world, as I do out here in Blogland. I can't give up either. But balance is in order.

This is the worst of all >>>>>>>>>

I have neglected to properly teach my daughter how to accesorize!!!

8 ripples in the pond:

Hev said...

Hi Tabba,

Just found your blogspot today. Love the layout, colours piccies.

Love the honesty.

Hev

Tabba said...

Hev,
So glad you stopped by 'and' enjoyed!! Hope to see you on here again soon!!!

Ravioli said...

Personally, I like the "thug" cap thing she has going on.....

Tabba said...

Of course you would ;)

jen said...

Tab, sometimes I DO have trouble getting a comment posted but not today. I am going to add you as a link to my site so maybe that will make it easier.

Your family is gorgeous. And I can totally relate to sinking into a rut. We are in one now too - and we beat ourselves up for it all the time.

Tabba said...

Jen, Hmmmmmm. This is really odd. I'm not sure how to remedy this. And not sure why it is working for some and not others....

Thanks for the compliments on the family.
It is so easy to beat yourself up for the things you 'aren't' doing and yet, completely ignore the things you are doing.
Damn vicious cycles!

slackermommy said...

Oh I hear ya girl! If only there was a few more hours in the day. I struggle with balance also and it does seem that i have no problem finding time for the 'puter. For me, blogging and creating slideshows is a much needed creative outlet for me. Sad to day but I'm just not fulfilled with just being a mom. There are a lot of us moms that struggle with this and I don't think any of us have the answer.

J said...

Balance is a problem for so many of us. Perhaps priorities need to be listed out...time for yourself, time for your marriage, time for your kids, time for the blog...time for chores, etc. All are important. Just thinking about it is a start, I think. :) Good luck!