I'm Sick and Confused

For the past 2 & 1/2 days I have been fighting a losing battle with my left ear. It has been hurting and there is a lump in it. I thought that I had a pimple in my ear. Totally gross. I know. But by yesterday, I realized that this was either a)the BIGGEST pimple on the face of the earth, 2)I have a tumor or D)there was something else amiss. So, last night I try to fall asleep and it hurts so bad. It feels like it's swollen all the way through my canal. I fall asleep for about 2 hrs and am awoken by pain and Gracie crying. Bry helps Gracie out, I head into the bathroom & discover my ear is freakishly swollen, red, hot and just nasty. I make my way downstairs, prop my head up with the biggest pillow I can find & fall off to sleep. I wake up with still the nasty cauliflower ear thing going on & now I can't freaking hear out of it. I say to Bry, "Uh. What should I do?" He's like, "Uh, yeah. Go.........to......the doctor?" I was like, "I'll feel like an idiot if I go in there & he says to me, 'It's a pimple.'" Which I knew it wasn't, but there's still an ounce of doubt in me. Blah, blah, blah. I get to the doc & he looks in the good ear, then looks in the bad ear and says, "You're canal is 90% blocked. The infection is spreading to the other one. This left one though, is like....WOW." He says it's an infection, but doesn't believe it originated in the ear. So, he sends me on my way with anitbiotics and a steroid, and asks me to come back in a week. Needless to say, I'm feeling wonderful. I'm tired, but can't sleep. I think I'm amped up from the steroids. I come home, lay down & the phone rings. It's the coordinator from the special needs program I've been dealing with regarding Connor. We begin to 'touch base' on some things regarding our meeting for Connor tomorrow. She can't tell me anything either way and it's not sounding good as far as getting him into the new preschool program. She said that based on his evaluation, which was adminstered last November, everything looks too good. That we really have to emphasize what a rough time Connor had in school, his recent diagnosis, sensory issues, and his inability to cross over his OT skills into a school environment. She also said that if Connor doesn't get the ok to enroll in this program, then he is not eligible for anymore services. Great. She said that if they deny us, we can request another evaluation, but that could take goodness-knows- how-long. I just didn't end that phone conversation with the most optimistic feeling. I'm completely frustrated by this whole process. It's literally, been a 10 month process to get services, get a diagnosis & get to this point of even having a meeting. And I just am completely frustrated by the fact that it is in the realm of possibility that Connor get kicked out into a mainstream program where he will flounder yet again. I can't go through another school year like we did last year and I certainly cannot see him go through what he went through again. Ugh. Frustrating and confusing. So, please keep your fingers crossed for Connor tomorrow.

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