8/2/06

Still Crazy After All These Years



Growing up, for me, was tumultuous. Like it isn't for most kids, I realize this. But I am the product of a throw-back to the 60's hippie father and an ultra-conservative, puritan-esque, emotionally unstable mother. So you can see why today, I still walk around with a confused look on my face. And why today, so many parts of my personality contradict one another. Amidst all of this confusion it has occured to me that I'm a total, certified nutter. And after searching my mind how this could be, I've come up with the answer. And the answer has been there for almost as long as I can remember.
Let me take you back to........I think it was......1984. Yup, 1984. Ok, possibly 1985. I was 6. Put it that way.
My mom and dad were newly divorced and my mom & I were living in, basically, a one room apartment. At that time, my mom was driving a baby blue Dodge Dart with a faulty passenger-side door. Safety standards being so high in 1984-5ish I was free to ride wherever I wanted in said car paying absolutely no mind to the faulty door. Well, my mom & I were in the car driving somewhere down a tight/twisty back road near our 'house' and arguing about something. I have no idea what we were in a tiff about. So, being the mature, respectful child I was at not getting my way, I crossed my arms, furrowed my brow, released a "Hrumph" and leaned up against the passenger-side door to get as far away, as physically possible, from my mom. Next thing I know, I'm rolling up a hill and thinking to myself, "I feel just like a bowling ball. Just put your arms up around your head. You'll be ok." The faulty door that I had mentioned was true to it's standard and had decided to make me one with the pavement. As I had finally stopped rolling up the hill, I stood up, spitting leaves out of my mouth, I walk nonchalantly back to the car like this happens everyday or something. I'm a bit scraped up and mom decides to take me to the hospital. Not before she reminds me that "this is exactly why you don't argue with your mother." I am seen at the ER and cut loose. Just had some minor scrapes. As we're on our way home my mom informs me that she didn't have the 'heart' to see me laying in the street, so she kept driving until she saw in her rearview mirror that I got up off the ground. My mom, I'll tell ya, she's all full of sentiment and concern.
I've decided that the little incident on Smalley's Dam Road would be one of many that would lead to my eventual turn to Nutterville, but that was the defining moment for me. Where I was introduced to insanity via leaf-covered pavement and a faulty passenger-side door.

3 ripples in the pond:

Bryan said...

Obviously, most of those who read this post will not know this, but standing up and spitting out leaves is a recurring event in my lovely wife's life

Jon said...

That's an unbelievable story - I don't know many people who can say they've jumped from a moving vehicle. But I don't know if it's fair to blame nurture alone on your journey to nuttersville; after all, you did DECIDE to marry Bryan. Sounds like you made plenty of addled decisions all on your own :)

PS - If you'd just do what Bryan said, he wouldn't have to keep knocking you down into the leaves to 'learn ya'.

Tabba said...

ahhhh, 'tis true Jon. It was my decision alone that made me pass Nutterville on my journey and enter into Derangement Town. What a lovely ride it's been.....

As far as spitting out leaves all I can say is it's hard to keep a good woman down.