When I'm 64

Let me start off by saying that I have a most sick, inappropriate sense of humor. If you are a person who is sensitive and all 'PC' don't continue to read this post. Not that what I'm about to say is totally offensive, but some out there will probably think this is just wrong.
Today, I'm in the car, driving to playgroup with the kids. On the sidewalk, to our right, is an elderly fellow walking with a walker and I believe, an oxygen tank. I was thinking to myself, "Good for him. He's not letting his age keep him down! He's out, he's walking, getting some exercise and fresh air. Way to go, Pops!" At the same time, I look at the on-coming lane and here is a car FULL of blue-haired ladies w/ the handicap sticker dangling from the rearview mirror, in some type of Oldsmobile or some such Granny car. They looked cute, chatting it up in their car, on their way to breakfast or what-have-you. And I wonder as they're passing Pops, who is walking on the opposite side of the road, do they check him out? Do they giggle about his bitchin' walker or other attributes he may or may not have? Does one blue-haired lady say to the other, "He'll need that oxygen when I'm done with him!" Do they check out his medical stockings and think, "He's got it going on!"? When does this kind of juvenile sexuality stop? You would think, being the animals that we really are, that even with age, those insticts still preside. No matter the age. Or is it a sign that I am really.....I mean really sick-o? I guess it just gets me wondering about whether I will still harbor those 'naughty' adolescent thoughts. To be even more sick than I already am, I hope so. I hope that in 40 years or so I still act like a schoolgirl every-so-often and giggle like one at inappropriate moments. I hope that at that point in my life, the thougth or sight of old-man Bry walking with his bitching walker and hot medical stockings gets me all revved up and randy. I think that is where my youth will lie.

4 ripples in the pond:

bryan said...

I hope so! And when I'm using a walker, you better believe that it will be bitchin'!!!!!!!!

Jon said...

It WILL be the future - maybe it'll be a cool 'hover-walker' or something like that? That'd be pretty bitchin. Except nobody will use the word bitchin anymore, so it'll be a 'bunkle' hover walker, or some other stupid word. I hate when we lose good words. Whatever happened to 'rad'? That was a good one - we should bring it back.

Tabba said...

My personal, old-school favorite is 'boss', i.e. "He's so boss." It's corny & totally white-bread, but I like it.
Bunkle. That's too funny!

Anonymous said...

I tried to bring "rad" back at my workplace and no one was receptive. I would try to work it into very corporate business conversations but it never stuck. Oh well, my futile way of trying change the system. whatever it was funny to me.